


Suledin (Endure)

by Bealtaine



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Changelings, Dalish Elves, Eluvians, Elvhen, Elvhen Pantheon, I had too many emotions after Trespasser, Multi, Self-Discovery, Shapeshifting, Skyhold, Somniari, Trespasser
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-08 03:43:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8829058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bealtaine/pseuds/Bealtaine
Summary: Almost two decades after the Exalted Council of 9:44 the Inquisition and Fen'Harel's agents are at an impasse. However, with an ancient and unstable force now lurking in the Fade, the Veil will find itself under threat from multiple forces.Atisha, a young elven woman, knows all too well that in the wrong hands she could be one of those threats. So when her skills are revealed to agents of Fen'Harel she finds herself fleeing to Skyhold. But when the Inquisition become aware of what she is capable of she discovers that there is more to her history than even she ever dreamed.(I'm aiming to upload a new chapter every week - and hope it doesn't end up being a full blown novel ^_^)





	1. Da'len

Even from a distance, hidden in the shade of an ancient tree, Atisha could see the young elven man’s pain and fear. Keeper Lanaya stood over him, her small aged hands magically weaving the ink into the skin of his face. He must think only of the gods and not give in to his suffering by uttering even the smallest of sounds. 

Atisha tore her eyes away from the ritual and they fell upon her cloak and small, packed satchel. She had imposed the purification rituals upon herself. She had spent time quietly praying to the gods. She should have already been down there awaiting her turn, her Vallaslin. But she had come to realise that the comfort she used to find in prayer was not the same as the reverence the rest of her clan were showing through their markings. She had found solace in sharing her struggles with the silent unknown, not gods. For the gods never answered her. And she would not mark herself with something she did not fully believe in for someone who she did not truly have faith in. It was not the pain of the Vallaslin that she feared, but the permanency.

There lay her belongings, a chance to escape, to start anew. She had always been terrified of being cast out by the clan but she now knew that she did not belong here. She would embrace the unknown, the uncertain. Not the silence.

Atisha looked back towards the camp and saw that the ritual was complete. The Keeper stood back from Galen. Everyone watched with pride as he stood to face them. The clan made gestures, welcoming him as an adult, loyal ways of the Dalish. Would they have looked so lovingly upon her if she had completed the ritual? It was unlikely. Their suspicious glances would never truly vanish. Not while their was a ‘changeling’ in their midst.

“Lethallan?” Atisha jumped as a familiar voice called to her from woods behind her. She turned quickly and found a face that she had missed for four long years.

“Sammen!” She exclaimed and hurried forward to embrace the tall, blond elf. Sammen had been like an older brother to her since she had arrived to the clan as an infant. Keeper Lanaya had convinced the adult Dalish to accept the elf foundling that Atisha had been, but it was Sammen who had defended her from the biting words of the children. But he had vanished after an argument with the Keeper four years ago. She had had to fend for herself.

“It is so good to see you again, Atisha.” He smiled broadly, taking in the sight of her. “And look - you’ve grown! Not much but it’s an improvement. You are no longer the halla runt you once were.” He winked jokingly.

“You have been gone for years, Lethallin. I had to occupy myself with something.” Her own smile faded and she grew serious. “Tell me honestly, Sammen. Where have you been? Why didn’t you send word? I missed you…” Sammen cast his eyes cautiously towards the camp and then back to Atisha, their brightness dulling slightly.

“Lanaya… She… We have our disagreements. She made it clear that I deserved no further contact with the clan.”

“Then why are you here now? Where have you been, Sammen?” But deep down she had a suspicion that she already knew where he had fled to. Lanaya was tolerant and open-minded compared to most Dalish Keepers. There were few deeds that would have merited banishment, and so the wolf pelt trim on his cloak indicated which it was. But Sammen’s eyes flicked across her face once more, avoiding her questions. 

“You did not accept the slave-markings. I knew you wouldn’t.” He smiled proudly, like the Dalish below had for the young elf. “I wanted to warn you, to tell you the truth. But Lanaya… No matter. Will you join us, Lethallan?” Atisha’s heart suddenly sank. It was true.

“You have joined Fen’Harel…” She looked down, disappointed.

“Yes, I have.” Sammen laid his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. “He offers hope for our people where the Dalish only ever offered shadows and dust. But Atisha, you would be most welcome amongst us. We can give you a life of acceptance that the Dalish denied you because of foolish superstitions. It was monstrous how they ostracised you. We can give you the home and family that you deserve.” He smiled as she lifted her gaze to look at him once more. 

“Until Fen’Harel tears down the Veil and we all perish.” She replied bitterly. The joy she had felt at being reunited with her brother had been all but corrupted by this new reality. Sammen grimaced at her coldness.

“We will be creating a new world. A better world where our people will have a future. There are rumours that Fen’Harel will bring some of his most loyal servants with him to that new world.”

“That is foolishness, Sammen. And you know it.” Atisha scoffed, angry now that someone she had always looked up to as a voice of reason had been so stripped of his sense. “And besides, you know I cannot join your cause. You know why I can never join him.”

“But that is where you are wrong, Lethallan. Imagine what you could bring to our cause. With your… skill, why, I have no doubt that you would be one of the first to be given a place in our new home.” Atisha hesitated. Acceptance. A home. A family. She could truly belong for once. No, she thought to herself, remember Lanaya’s warning. There was nothing but danger for her down that road.

“Ir abelas, Lethallin.” She looked down once more. “I cannot.”

“Ma halani, Atisha -“ Sammen begged, but an angry voice interrupted.

“Harellan.” Keeper Lanaya had appeared from the surrounding trees. Sammen quickly took a step bag from Atisha and moved his hand closer to his mage staff.

“I am no traitor, Lanaya.” Sammen said coldly. “The Dalish persist in worshipping false gods who enslaved our ancestors. Even now that this truth is known, you continue to enslave our people in worship to our enemies, The Evanuris. I am not the traitor here.”

Atisha had never seen the Keeper’s eyes so filled with fury, though her tone remained steady and stern.

“Leave.” She commanded him. “Now.”

“Not without Atisha.” He shot back quickly before turning to her again. “Lethallan, do you remember when we met him? All those years ago in the ruins? Do you remember how you-“

“Stop it.” Atisha gasped.

“You do remember. I know you do.”

“No, Sammen. I have given you my answer.”

But Sammen persisted.

“I have spoken to him of you. He would like to meet you again.” Sammen smiled but Atisha’s blood ran cold. All these years of hiding, and now her loved one had revealed her to the enemy. She looked at him, speechless.

“You put so much faith in one elf who has no proof for his claims that he is indeed a god himself.” Lanaya said cooly. She would be worrying about Sammen’s revealing of Atisha too, but she did not show him.

“You know the truth, Lanaya.” Sammen said confidently. “You saw him too.”

“And yet,” Lanaya smiled, “It has been just over twenty years since Fen’Harel began gathering his army. I hear the Inquisition foiled a plan of his in Tevinter a few years ago. Such little progress for a god.” 

“Lanaya,” Sammen scoffed her name condescendingly. “Two decades are but the blink of an eye to a true god.” Atisha stared at him. This was not the brother she once knew. The pride and mocking in his voice was not her Sammen.

“Leave, Sammen.” Atisha looked at him directly. “Go quietly and do not fight us. If you ever truly loved me as kin then you will do this for me.”

“Atisha -“ He started.

“Please.” She looked away. Unable to bear the sight of him any longer.

“Very well…” Sammen did not disguise his disappointment. He stood for a moment as silence descended on them, then turned and slipped away through the trees. Lanaya watched silently until he had vanished well from sight.

“Come da’len. We shall delay your Vallaslin until you have had time to rest and meditate on the gods again. This must have shaken you.”

“Keeper… I…” Atisha glanced at her belongings again. She searched for words but found none.

“You look ready to go on a journey. Have the gods asked for a favour before you are ready for the rituals?” Lanaya watched her thoughtfully. It was obvious she did not believe that this was the case.

“I no longer feel their presence.” Atisha sighed. 

“You have not been swayed by Sammen, I hope? You must steel yourself against such radical and unfounded notions.”

“No, he has not swayed me. Nor will I ever wish to see our world destroyed by such notions. But Keeper…” Atisha hesitated. “I do not belong here. I never have. We both know this.”

Lanaya looked sadly at her, but there was understanding there too.

“I know, da’len. And I am sorry. I tried to protect you as best I could but…” Lanaya trailed off and looked back towards the camp. “When I found you I couldn’t believe that someone so young could have survived being abandoned in the forest. I believed that you must have been a gift from the gods. Perhaps they were testing me and if I raised you as one of our own they might protect us in this difficult age. The desperate will always seek to create meaning behind coincidence.”

“I have let you down…” Atisha said quietly. She had certainly never brought the gods’ favour upon the clan. But the Keeper suddenly looked very serious.

“No, Atisha, you have not.” She said firmly. “Whoever is behind this cult Sammen has joined, be they god or madman, a great threat is coming. The Dalish are fading away. I can no longer ignore our lost numbers. But perhaps you are meant for different plans. You say you can no longer feel the presence of the gods?” Atisha nodded, surprised by Lanaya’s sudden passionate speech. “Then seek them out elsewhere. I named you Atisha, Peace. You should follow the Inquisition. They have vowed to defeat the Fens and bring peace to these lands. The gods will thank you for being a part of that.”

Atisha was shocked. She had not expected the Keeper to let her go so easily. And the Inquisition? She had loved the stories that the Hahren would sometimes tell them about the Inquisitor, a Dalish elf herself, who had sewn the hole in the sky back together against all the odds. Perhaps she could find a home there. She was an excellent scout. But suddenly her stomach sank.

“But Keeper… My skill… With the Veil… I -“

“You will keep it a secret even from the Inquisition. The Fens have spies there too. But at this stage it is probably the safest place for you. Do not reveal your power unless you are in desperate need, da’len. The Veil is in enough danger already, and all of us with it.”

“I understand.”

“Without your Vallaslin you must give up the clan name. However,” The Keeper smiled reassuringly. “You will always be welcome as my guest, Atisha.”

“Thank you Keeper. For everything… Ma serannas.” 

Lanaya smiled and embraced her.

“Now go, da’len. Use your shapeshifting. Sammen will no doubt pursue you. Do not let him catch up. Now that you are leaving the Clan you need no longer fear being discovered as a mage. Perhaps the Inquisition can give you the training that I could not allow you.”

Atisha nodded and slipped into the form of a small wolf. _Ironic_ , she thought as she moved away from the camp and through the trees, _and certainly useful_.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Lethallan/Lethallin - Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar  
> Ir abelas - I'm sorry  
> Ma halani - Help me  
> Harellan - Traitor  
> Da’len - Child, little one
> 
> Source: http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_language


	2. Dirthara Ma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atisha stumbles across the Inquisition sooner than she had expected.  
> But Sammen will not let her go so easily.

The bright light of the full moon caught the mist of Kieran’s breath as he walked back to the temple ruins, carrying more fire wood. The night would only get colder and he wished he could return to the Inquisition’s outpost instead of camping out here. He had spent plenty of time as a child exploring similar ruins with his mother, but he still found them unnerving at night. There were always strange sounds in the shadows. However, Dan had insisted that he research through the night and Kieran knew that the mage would not be strong enough to defend himself alone if anything were to happen.

Kieran sighed as he approached their campfire, the light illuminating a young fragile-looking elf and the subject of his research, an Eluvian. He chuckled as he saw Dan’s slumped shoulders and distant expression, staring into the fire.

“Having second thoughts, are we?” Kieran smiled. “Well I won’t allow any cold feet now - you were so insistent -“

“Kieran… I… I don’t…” Dan stammered. His face was pale and Kieran could see beads of sweat were appearing on his brow. He panicked. The scholar had been full of energy and enthusiasm when Kieran had left in search of fire wood. What was this?

“Dan, are you alright…?” He asked, but Dan began to stumble and collapsed onto the floor. “Shit -“ Kieran cursed and hurried to him. He lifted his torso and cradled the young elf, shaking him in an effort to bring him back to consciousness. “Dan? Dan! Wake up!” But he was unresponsive. His body began to twitch and his skin sweated feverishly. His brow was creased and his muscles were stiff with tension. 

Kieran tried to compose himself and think more clearly. The fever didn’t seem natural but he pulled their packs towards him and dug out an elfroot potion nonetheless. He was about to trickle it into Dan’s mouth when a small voice called out from the shadows.

“No! Don’t do that!” 

Kieran quickly turned his head to see a young, ashen-haired elf emerge from the darkness. Her cloak and leather armour suggested that she was Dalish. But she had no tattoos. He must be wary.

“Are you the one who has done this to my friend?” He asked her accusingly.

“Of course not.” The girl responded. “A spirit is trying to possess him. If you give him that potion while he’s unconscious he’ll choke. The spirit will feel threatened and will turn into a demon so as to protect his physical form.”

Kieran gaped at her. He looked back to Dan. He’d never seen someone in this state before. But Dan wasn’t possessed yet, he must be putting up a fight.

“There must be something I can do to help him?”

“No.” The girl said quietly, but she then hesitated, looking at Dan thoughtfully. “But maybe I can…”

“How?”

“I can enter his mind. He’s dreaming right now, fighting with the spirit. If I can get there I may be able to help him overcome it.”

Kieran watched her carefully. “You’re a dreamer… somniari…?”

“Yes.”

“Wait… look… I don’t know who you are. You could do anything to his mind while in there. I can’t risk that. You could be one of Fen'Harel's Wolves for all I know.”

“Not all of us elves are fool enough to trust a trickster god.” The girl said sharply. “And besides, right now I am the only chance your friend has.”

Kieran looked helplessly from the girl to Dan, and back again. She was right.

“Do it. Just… please, be careful. He doesn’t deserve this…”

The girl nodded and quickly pressed her small fingers to Dan’s temples.

 

 

As the mage’s dream slowly materialised through the mist and into Atisha’s view she desperately cast her mind around, looking for the intruder. She had never done this before. As a dreamer she had always been aware of the dreams of others and could watch them, but she had had to be cautious not to let any sleeper notice her presence. However, she needed to find this boy, Dan, and help him.

“I can help you.” A female voice spoke softly. “I can show you a secret magic that would make you stronger than any mage.”

Atisha hurried towards the source of the voice. Sure enough, two figures emerged from the mist. Dan stood before a beautiful young elven woman, a spirit of desire in disguise. Atisha cursed silently. These were always the most stubborn of spirits. But Dan was resisting. She could see his scepticism. 

“I won’t use blood magic… I don’t… I’d disappoint too many people.” The mage said quietly but sternly.

“This isn’t blood magic.” The spirit smiled seductively. “This is a very ancient technique. As old as magic itself. Let me show you.” The spirit moved towards him. Dan hesitated, his reserve slowly faltering. 

“Leave him be.” Atisha commanded, forcefully. The spirit spun round. Something approaching fear flickered through her eyes, but she quickly recomposed herself.

“And what are you doing here?” The spirit asked in an irritated tone.

“That is irrelevant. I demand that you let this mage go.”

The spirit smiled sinisterly.

“But I don’t want to.” She drew out the words mockingly.

Atisha realised she wouldn’t win this fight with words. The spirit was too close to its prey and would not be distracted. She focused her mind on the energy of the fade surrounding the spirit and the strands of magic laced through it. Sending her mind forth she forced each wisp of magical energy to tremble and shake.

“What are -“ The spirit began suspiciously but suddenly it screamed. “Stop! Please stop! Have mercy -“

Atisha ceased her magical manipulation and fixed the distressed spirit with her gaze.

“Leave him.”

The spirit made a quick noise of disgust and fled into the mists once more. Looking towards Dan she saw that he was shocked and confused. She knew she should console him but she could feel that her energy was running very low. She pulled herself out of the dream and quickly removed her fingers from Dan’s temples, stumbling backwards from exhaustion.

“Did… did it work?” Atisha looked up to see the human staring at her, looking shaken. He must have been about thirty, but his fear and the shadows made him look much older.

“Yes, I think so. Has the fever passed?”

“Yes, he seems alright now.” He said, checking Dan’s forehead. “Thank you… um…” He looked towards her expectantly and she realised that they did not yet know each other’s names.

“Atisha.”

“Like… Peace?” Atisha nodded, surprised at the human’s knowledge of the Elven language. He saw her shock and smiled. “My mother has rather an obsessive interest in all things elfy. Some of it must have rubbed off. I’m Kieran, by the way.” He held out his hand. Atisha hesitated. She knew this was a human greeting but she wasn’t sure how it worked. She held out her own hand towards his but not touching, mimicking his action. The man laughed. “No, look, like this.” He clasped his hand around hers and moved their hands up and then down before letting go. “I take it you’re Dalish then?” He chuckled.

“Yes, well, I was. But we must get moving.”

“Moving?”

“You’re friend is a weak mage. Places like these are dangerous for him as the Veil is thin. He is not strong enough to fight off hungry spirits. You need to bring him somewhere safe where he can rest and get his strength back.”

“Well, it looks like you gave that spirit quite a scare.” Kieran said laying the mage down with a satchel as a pillow. “Surely I have a few minutes before any other spirits will be brave enough to try?” Atisha stared at the man in disbelief. Had he no concern for the welfare of his friend? “Plus, it looks like that fight exhausted you too. You both should get a short rest before we move. I just need to investigate something quickly.”

“Well, firstly I cannot promise that he will be safe for any amount of time.” Atisha shot at him angrily. “And secondly, I need to keep travelling.” She stood up a little to quickly and had to catch her balance. “So you can watch over him yourself, shem.” She hissed.

“Well now, there is no need for that sort of language.” Kieran joked in mock shock. “I’ll have you know that we are members of the Inquisition.” Atisha paused. Inquisitions scouts. She could join these men. Perhaps she’d have a better chance of evading Sammen if she was already in a small group of Inquisition people. And she was afraid of leaving the mage alone in case he was the victim of another attack.

“Alright… I’ll watch your friend. But in return, I want to join the Inquisition.” 

Kieran looked at her curiously.

“I can’t make you an Inquisition scout. You’d have to go to Skyhold.”

“Tarasyl’an Te’las? Then take me there.”

“Just… call it Skyhold. You don’t want people thinking that you’re a Wolf. But fine, yes, you have a deal.”

Atisha smiled as Kieran was swallowed by the shadows. Perhaps she should keep her shapeshifting secret too.

 

 

Kieran hurried through the dark passages of the ruins. Dan hadn’t managed to activate the Eluvian they had found. But maybe if Kieran managed to find something, anything to take back to Skyhold for him to study, the young mage might not attempt to return. At least not straight away. Dan was not suited to such places, Kieran would make sure he didn’t go on any more missions like this. But he knew Dan, the boy would keep trying unless he was distracted by something he could research safely.

Kieran’s mind flitted back to the girl, Atisha. Strange child. But not one of Fen’Harel’s. And she had stepped in to help. That had been a surprise. He had been certain that he would lose Dan, and possibly not win the inevitable fight with the demon that he would let loose. Kieran shuddered. He needed to hurry. He still didn’t trust the girl enough to leave a vulnerable agent in her care for too long.

Suddenly Kieran noticed a whisper of magic as he took his next step. He’d let himself get distracted.

“Shit.” He cursed. And ice shot up from the ground, freezing him in place.

 

 

Atisha sighed and looked down at the frail elf, now breathing softly in his sleep. He must have been about her age, maybe a little older, but with no Vallaslin. And his name… Dan? It must have been short for something. He was probably a city elf. A weak mage turned to scholarly endeavours, judging by all the books scattered around. From the College of Enchanters, most likely. 

Atisha shivered. She had put out the fire so as to make their location less conspicuous. She was not sure if Sammen had tried to track her. And the tall, imposing mirror standing a few feet away was making her strangely nervous. She’d seen them before in other Elven ruins, but she had never been this close to one. She drew her cloak more tightly around her to keep out the cold.

Suddenly, a movement in the edge of her view drew her eyes. Dan had stirred. He slowly shifted himself up on his elbows.

“Kieran…?” He mumbled, disorientated.

“He’ll be back soon.” Atisha assured him quietly from a distance. Dan looked sharply towards her, more awake now. Alarm lit up his eyes. “You need to rest.” Atisha sighed. “As do I, in case any more spirits decide to attack you.”

“Who are you? Where am I?” He was sitting upright now, visibly panicking.

“I’m Atisha. You’re friend, Kieran, asked me to watch over you while he scouts these ruins.”

“The ruins… yes… wait… I do remember you.” Dan leapt to his feet and backed away from her. “Stay away from me!” He gasped before stumbling and falling again.

“Wait, what?” Atisha asked, perplexed.

“Demon!” He shouted. “You’re the demon!”

“No,” Atisha told him forcefully. “I’m the one who helped you fight off the demon.”

“Trying to gain my trust. That’s exactly what a demon would do.”

“That is true.” Atisha sighed. “So I promise to stay over here and you can stay over there. But please, calm down. You honestly do need to rest. I’m sure Kieran will be back soon.”

Dan went quiet and there was a look of reluctant acceptance on his face. He shivered and drew his own cloak closer around him.

“Why did you let the fire go out? It’s freezing.” He asks bitterly.

“I put it out.”

“Why in the Maker’s name would you do that?” Exasperation rises in his tone.

“These forests are full of hungry creatures. We shouldn’t draw attention to ourselves. Not when we’re too weakened to defend ourselves.” Atisha gave him a sharp look, she was too tired to deal with his whingeing. “ And a weak mage like you shouldn’t be here at all.”

Dan narrowed his eyes at her, offended. With great effort he conjured up a little flame and rekindled the fire.

“Typical city elf.” Atisha sighed and rolls her eyes.

Suddenly the sound of footsteps drew their attention to the darkness. It sounded like more than one person. Atisha quickly rose to her feet. 

Two elves appeared from the shadows, followed by Kieran who appeared to be magically bound.

“Wolves…” Dan whispered in fear.

“Aneth ara.” Atisha announced politely. The elves returned stern looks. But neither of them was Sammen. They would need to escape quickly. Perhaps if she were polite and apologised for disturbing them…

“Inquisition spies are not welcome here.” One of them said sternly.

Kieran made an attempt to break free from his bindings but failed. To Atisha’s dismay Dan quickly grabbed his staff and moved to attack.

“No!” Atisha started. “You’re not -“ One of the elves easily swept his wispy attack to the side and bound him. “Strong enough…” She sighed. 

The pair of Fens turned to her now. She had to weigh up her options quickly. She shouldn’t show her power, particularly not to both agents of Fen’Harel and the Inquisition at the same time. And in any case, she wasn’t sure she even had the strength left. If she moved to grab her daggers then they would bind her too.

“Atisha.” A familiar voice echoed from the shadows. Sammen had found her. She looked around, desperately searching for some sort of escape. She didn’t know how to use magic to fight. She could shift into wolf form and flee. She would easily outrun them. But then she looked at Dan and Kieran, helplessly bound. She couldn’t leave them.

Sammen emerged into the firelight. His resentment and disappointment from that morning had faded. He smiled at her, but there was something sinisterly calculating about his gaze.

“You followed me.” She said quietly, trying not to show too much anger.

“Yes, Lethallan. I want you to reconsider our invitation, away from Lanaya and her falsehoods.”

“My decision is my own. And my answer is still no.”

“Cyrdis.” Sammen looked to one of the elves and gestured towards the mirror. The agent nodded, agreeing to a silent order. He moved towards the mirror and as he approached it, it began to glow an unnatural blue colour. Cyrdis slipped through the glass, as if it were liquid, and vanished. The light faded again. Atisha stared in wonder at the darkened glass.

“What was that…?” She asked nervously.

“I clearly cannot convince you myself.” Sammen sighed. But then he smiled at her. “So maybe Fen’Harel himself can.”

Atisha’s blood ran cold and anger flared up within her. The mirror had begun to glow once more. She did not have any time left.

“Dirthara ma!” She shouted at Sammen furiously. His smile faded as he watched her throw her arms into the air. A flash of bright light blinded everyone but Atisha. Moving quickly, she grabbed both Dan and Kieran, now released from their bindings. She focussed all her fear and anger into sharpening what was left of her magic and with one swift movement of her arm, she slashed a gash in the very Veil itself. She plunged herself and her two new companions through and into the Fade, before hastily sealing the tear she had left behind. Kieran and Dan had only a moment to look around in horror before Atisha grabbed them once more. She pushed them at great speed, soaring forwards. She cast her mind forth, searching for where to stop and leave again. And she found it. They suddenly ground to a halt and Atisha carefully started to unweave the Veil, taking care not to break a single thread. 

“What the fuck is going on?!” Kieran yelled at her, his voice echoing through the bleak landscape.

“This… this is wrong… very wrong…” Dan gasped, looking pale with terror.

“Hush,” Atisha hissed. “I need to concentrate.” The others silently watched her, their expressions fearful. After some time and much effort, she finally guided them through, back to the real world. Dan and Kieran collapsed gasping onto the hard, twilit rubble of a snowy mountainside. Atisha turned once more towards the new tear and began to meticulously weave the threads back together again.

“What… what just happened?” Kieran asked, more composed now.

“I said shut up.” Atisha said, her voice strained with exhaustion. “You have no idea how difficult this is. I scarred the other end. I cannot leave any trace that could mark where we have gone.”

Kieran and Dan exchanged nervous glances.

“So, just now, we were physically in the Fade?” Dan asked, awe-struck. Kieran nudged him and pointed upwards towards a huge stone structure. Skyhold.

“Well, at least we’re home now.”

Atisha finally finished her work and fell to her knees. The adrenaline from her anger and fear had fuelled their journey but now she was exhausted far beyond anything she could ever remember. 

“Whoa -“ Kieran hurried to her and held her up before she collapsed onto the sleety ice and rubble. “Hang in there, little one.” He said quickly, a look of genuine concern in his eyes.

“Don’t forget…” She whispered, her breathing strained. “Dan - he still needs more rest…” And then everything slipped away into darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Aneth ara - A sociable or friendly greeting, more commonly used among the Dalish themselves rather than with outsiders.  
> Dirthara ma! - "May you learn." Used as a curse.
> 
> Source: http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_language


	3. Tarasyl'an Te'las

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atisha finds herself at Skyhold and begins the process of becoming a recruit to the Inquisition.  
> But after a strange encounter with the Inquisitor it appears that danger and suspicion are lurking in Skyhold too.

“Atisha, run!” The mist was a thick fog and she couldn’t see where Sammen was. “It’s Fen’Harel, run, _quickly _!”__

Snatches of memories kept flitting past her, too fast and fleeting to catch.

“Where did you learn such magic?” The soft voice from so many nightmares before this one returned once more.

“It’s… It’s not magic…” She heard her younger self stammer. She wasn’t allowed magic. She would be cast out. No one must know. _No one _.__

The voices flitted past her, she only caught snippets.

“You underestimate me.”

“Blue-green, like the Waking Sea.”

“Come into the light.”

“Atisha!”

“ATISHA!?”

 

Atisha suddenly jumped awake. Bright light blinded her. She blinked fast and hard to clear her vision and took in her surroundings. She was in a stone-walled room, several beds surrounded her own, a few other people lay sleeping or resting. Where _was _she?__

A human woman hurried towards her.

“Careful, child. You must rest.” The woman looked concerned.

“What… where… Kieran… Dan…” Words tumbled out of her mouth, but she struggled to make sense.

“You’re in the healing ward of Skyhold.” The woman said comfortingly. “Your companions are here too. Though they weren’t in need of as much time to recover.” She poured a potion into a small cup. “Here, my child. Drink this. It will help you to get your strength back.”

Atisha eyed the reddish liquid suspiciously. The door suddenly opened and a young, dark-haired elf entered. Dan, the mage, looking much healthier than when she had last seen him. After she had dragged him and Kieran through the Fade and revealed her skill to both them and the Fens.

Her stomach knotted tightly as the memories came flooding back.

“I promise, it will help.” The healer insisted with a smile. Cautiously, Atisha took the cup and knocked back the thick liquid. It tasted bitter, definitely made with elfroot. She relaxed a little. The healer moved away and Dan approached her with a slightly nervous smile.

“Hello, Atisha. I…” He hesitated, fidgeting with a small parcel wrapped with string. “I wanted to say thank you… for your help back in the temple. I believe I owe you my life… and probably Kieran’s too. I’m sorry I was so… suspicious of you.”

Atisha looked at him in surprise, bemused by his change in behaviour.

“You’d just fought off a spirit possession.” She said plainly. “I would have been just as defensive had I been in your position. And… well… I’m sorry for calling you a weak mage… I was… well…”

“We were both a little on edge, and had good reason to be.” He said, smiling more openly now. “But I brought you some breakfast, fruit and seeds. The food here is a bit different to what you’re probably used to. So, I hoped something a bit more Dalish might make you feel more at home.” He placed the package on her bedside cabinet.

Atisha stared at the package in shock. She wasn’t sure how to react. She was not used to such kind gestures. Dan saw her hesitation and grimaced.

“Oh Maker, I hope I haven’t got this terribly wrong. I hear you Dalish can be quite vengeful.” He laughed nervously.

“No, no. I mean… Thank you, Dan.” She smiled at him. “I really appreciate that. He looked relieved.

“They’re all for you, so don’t go sharing them.” He smiled and looked carefully towards the healer. There was something else in his eyes, hiding behind the smile. Something more urgent. “Kieran tells me that you wish to join the Inquisition. I must go return to my research now, but I hope to see you again soon.”

“I hope so too.” Atisha smiled, picking up the package. Dan left as she untied the string. Inside she found a collection of familiar fruits and seeds along with some more unusual and intriguing ones. Then she spotted something else, a tiny piece of parchment wound up in a miniature scroll, hidden among them. She glanced up at the healer but she was busying over another patient at the other end of the ward. Atisha quickly picked out the scroll and unwound it. On the parchment was a written message. _Damn it _, she thought. She knew little of reading and writing in the common tongue. The symbols were beautifully written in swirling script. “Don’t go sharing them.” Dan has said. Clearly this message was for her alone. She concentrated hard and traced the letters with her fingers. _Your… something… is safe _, she thought. _Ssss… something _. That slippery letter. She thought back to how secretive he had been. She stopped and looked again at the word. " _Your secret is safe _".________

They hadn’t told anyone about her skill. But she wasn’t certain. She looked down to see her clothes, washed and clean, at the end of her bed. Quickly she hopped up and grabbed them. She had to find Dan and make sure neither he nor Kieran had told anyone about her ability. If the Inquisition discovered that she was hiding a power like that… She could be put in an awkward and dangerous position.

“What are you doing?” The healer asked, hurrying over and looking horrified.

“Oh, I feel much better already.” Atisha said quickly. “I need to go… check something.”

“I must insist that you rest for longer. You’ve only just woken.”

“Honestly, I’m fine now. I’d appreciate some fresh air.”

The healer sighed but gave in.

“Alright, but I’m afraid you can’t just go wandering around freely yet. I was informed that once you had recovered you must be brought to interview immediately. Protocol, unfortunately.”

“I see…” Atisha thought quickly. It would do her no favours if she was caught sneaking around. She would have to trust that she had understood the message and that Dan and Kieran had kept silent. And she would have to be very careful in this ‘interview’.

 

 

Dan sat at his desk in the Rotunda, staring at his notes and sketches. Other scholars sat around the room, busily scribbling away or pouring over books. The young mage couldn’t concentrate. Months of research into the Eluvians lay before him along with the few notes he had made before falling victim to that spirit. But the events that had followed had changed everything. Atisha had taken them into the Fade. He had explored the Fade through dreaming for as long as he could remember. But they had _physically _been there.__

He looked back down at his scattered desk. He had been trying to study the magic of the Eluvians to see if there was anything about their magical mechanisms that could lead him to discover how to move through the Veil. But none of these books, notes or sketches mattered any more. He had known for a while that his efforts would be futile and the best that he would be able to do would be to reach the Crossroads, not the Fade. But now he only needed to learn how Atisha’s unique power worked.

A shadow fell over his desk. Kieran looked troubled.

“Do you have a moment?” The man asked. “In private.” He added quietly. Dan nodded and the pair walked out towards the battlements. They walked in silence until they came across a secluded spot. Kieran gazed out into the distance.

“I’ve been thinking… We need to tell them, Dan.” He said thoughtfully.

“No.” Dan said forcefully. “We’ve discussed this already. We can’t. The Wolves have spies here, more than those in charge realise, I’d wager. We’d be putting a weapon straight into their hands.”

“She’s not a ‘weapon’. She’s not another artefact for you to study. She’s a person, Ameridan. And a vulnerable one at that.”

Dan gritted his teeth. He hated when people used his full name, particularly when they knew how much it angered him.

“She’s still powerful, Kieran. If we could understand her gift then we might be able to turn the tide of this war.”

“Her skill is dangerous, but she’s not powerful. You saw her exhaust herself. She needs _protection _.” Kieran insisted. “That’s why we must inform Commander Cullen. The Wolves already know about her by now. It’s only a matter of time before they locate her again.”__

Dan sighed. Kieran was right. He had just hoped that he might have some time to study her abilities first.

“But what if they decide that she’s too dangerous? What if they lock her up? Or worse? She could be the answer to all my research. At least let me have a day to study her skill first.”

Kieran looked uneasy at the prospect of delaying this.

“Kieran, please.” Dan pleaded. “She can let people enter the Fade _physically _. Do you realise what that means? For all we know, Fen’Harel could be impossible to kill. He managed to banish the Evanuris to the Fade - what if… What if she could do the same to _him _.”____

Dan watched as Kieran gritted his teeth. Suddenly he kicked the wall of the battlements in frustration.

“Fine.” He sighed, bitterly. “But only one day.”

 

 

Atisha took a deep breath of fresh air as she emerged into the fading sunlight from Officer Saran’s office. She was tired after hours of questioning and tests. The Inquisition thoroughly investigated anyone who wanted to join. She was also pretty sure that her interviews had been more rigorous because she was an elf. But she had been told that she was allowed to move freely through the public areas of Skyhold for the next few days until a decision was reached as to whether she would be a suitable recruit.

She began to make her way across the lower courtyard. Dan and Kieran must have been somewhere and she wanted to find them. She wasn’t sure where else to go. As she approached the steps to the upper courtyard a uniformed elf approached her.

“Atisha, isn’t it?” He asked.

“Yes, am I to answer more questions?” She asked, trying to hide her weariness.

“No more questions, no. I am Somael.” He smiled warmly. “Officer Saran has informed me that you are a mage but are untrained. She has requested that I put you through some basic tests to assess your ability. We can then tailor your training if you are successfully recruited.”

“Oh, of course.” Atisha’s stomach sank. She would have to be more careful with this test. It was unlikely that she’d tear the Veil accidentally. But she was still nervous.

“If you would follow me.” 

Somael led her towards a doorway into the hold. As they came near it opened and a tall, blond, uniformed man came through. 

“It is deeply concerning.” He said quietly to someone behind him. A delicate, middle-aged, elven woman fell into step beside him. “But we should discuss this further in my office, Inquisitor.”

Atisha’s eyes widened as she looked down and saw the Inquisitor’s shortened arm, where her magical mark once was. It really was her.

“Yes, thank you, Commander Cullen.” The Inquisitor’s accent still held a faint Dalish lilt. She looked to Atisha’s companion. “Ah, good evening, Watcher Somael.” She smiled but she looked tired. “What brings you down here?”

“We have a new potential recruit, Inquisitor.” He answered in a formal tone, unlike the Inquisitor’s friendly demeanour. “I’m just showing her around.”

“Ah excellent.” The Inquisitor’s eyes came to rest on Atisha. Her smile faltered a little and a strange expression crossed her eyes. “And what is your name, da’len?”

“Atisha, Inquisitor.”

The older elf’s smile brightened again.

“Atisha… lovely. I hope that is a sign of things to come.”

Atisha nodded respectfully and the Inquisitor departed with her Commander.

“Come along then, we haven’t long before nightfall.” Somael ushered her inside the door. She glanced back to the courtyard and caught one last glimpse of the Inquisitor. She and Commander Cullen had stopped and were looking towards her and Somael. But he suddenly shut the door and quickly led her down a flight of stairs.

Suddenly Atisha’s mind started racing. The Inquisitor’s strange expression… And why had they been watching her as Somael shut the door? *They must know*, she thought, _but how _? Then something else struck her. What had Somael said when Atisha had been distracted by the Inquisitor’s sudden presence? “I’m just showing her around.” He was taking her for tests, standard procedure. Why had he lied…?__

“Just a little further now.” Somael said quietly, there was an odd smugness to his tone. How many flights of stairs had they walked down by now? Something was not right.

“Where are we going?” Atisha asked nervously.

“I’ll explain in a moment.” Somael said, opening a heavy metal gate. These looked like prison cells. He created a magical orb of light to illuminate the room. Before them stood a large dark mirror. Atisha stopped in her tracks. It was just like the one back in the temple. The one Sammen had tried to bring Fen’Harel through.

“I’d like to go back now.” Atisha said more urgently, as panic rose within her. She turned towards the gate but an invisible force slammed it shut with a crash.

“No. You will come with me.” Somael’s tone was more obviously sinister now. He moved to grab her but she dodged quickly out of the way. She reached for her daggers, but of course they were gone, no doubt confiscated upon her arrival. The mirror began to glow blue. She would have to use magic. But she didn’t know *how*.

A sudden force knocked Atisha to the floor. As pain blossomed through her body from the impact, fury rose within her. She had finally found somewhere she might call home, a cause she wanted to be a part of. This fool of an elf would strip her of that and drag her away to her enemy. Sudden shouts came from behind her and the gate began to rattle as someone attempted to break in. But Atisha barely noticed. She was focussing on her anger, taking the energy of that emotion and shaping it with her mind. She rose, slowly, preparing herself.

“It would be unwise to fight me, child.” Somael reached to grab her again but she was ready. She threw her arms up into the air. Flames immediately erupted from the floor beneath him and engulfed his body. His raw screams of terror brought Atisha out of her focused mindset and back to reality. She took a step back in shock at what she had done and the flames slowly sank. But Somael was no longer screaming, no longer moving at all.

The door flew open and Commander Cullen entered, followed by two guards. The flames finally vanished, revealing a scorched, unrecognisable figure lying on the floor. The smell of burnt flesh filled the air.

“I… I didn’t mean…” Atisha stammered. “I was scared… I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s alright.” The Commander said. “We saw enough to know what happened here.” He turned to one of the guards. “Take this young lady to my office. Speak to no one. Wait for me there.”

The guard led Atisha quickly and silently back up the stairs and out into the now dark courtyard. Atisha’s head spun as they walked. She had just killed someone. She had been scared and under threat… but… She had never killed another person before. The smell of his burnt flesh clung to her nose and no matter how many deep breaths she took it would not go. As they reached the top of the battlements she stumbled and tripped over the steps. She had exerted too much magic down there. She was exhausted again and struggled to get back on her feet. The guard quickly put an arm around her and lifted her up again.

“Here, lean on me.” He said comfortingly. “The Commander’s office is just through there.” He pointed to a door only a few paces away. Atisha whispered her thanks weakly and they made their way into the deserted office. The guard quickly fetched a chair and sat her down.

“Are you alright?” He asked her. “Is there anything I can get you while we wait.”

Atisha blinked, trying to push her horror aside for a moment.

“I… I don’t know…”

The guard took a small flask from his belt. 

“Here,” He said, handing it to her. “It’s strong but it will help with the shock. Oh, wait.” He took a quick sip himself before handing it to her again. “Just so you know it’s not poisoned or anything. You’ll need to be careful who you trust now.” He smiled.

Atisha removed the cap and took a small mouthful. The alcohol burned the back of her throat, but she felt more focused again.

“Thank you, ser.” She said with a small but grateful smile.

The door swung open and Cullen entered the room with the other guard from the cellars.

“Owain,” He said to the guard with the flask. “The Inquisitor has taken ill and is in her quarters. Send word to her that I have the situation under control and the new recruit is safe. I will update her in person shortly.” Owain nodded and hurried out of the room. Cullen turned to the guard next to him. “Susah, fetch Officer Saran for me. Ask her to come alone but to bring all documents relating to the Dalish recruit who was interviewed recently.”

“Yes, Commander.” She also hurried away leaving Atisha alone with the Commander.

Atisha looked to the Commander anxiously. They were certainly concerned about her welfare, but she had just murdered an Inquisition soldier. But then he had clearly been an agent of Fen’Harel.

“I am sorry about this terrible ordeal you have been put through.” Cullen said in a comforting tone. “We have destroyed the Eluvian so you should be safe for now.”

“Eluvian…?” Atisha asked, confused.

“The transportation device… the big mirror that Somael tried to bring you through.” He explained. “It is not Inquisition property. I have men searching for any others that may be hidden in Skyhold.”

“I didn’t mean to kill him…”

“I believe you. What was your name again?”

“Atisha.”

“Did Somael trick you into following him, Atisha?” 

“Yes. He told me I had to do another test, as part of the recruitment procedure. I didn’t realise anything was wrong until…” Her voice faded.

“Have you ever encountered agents of Fen’Harel before?” Cullen’s brow creased, he watched her carefully.

“My friend… a member of my clan who I looked on as a brother - He joined them a few years ago. He tracked me down, tried to get me to join them. I refused. I want to join the Inquisition instead.”

There was a knock at the door.

“Enter.” Cullen called out. Saran, the dark-eyed woman who had interviewed her entered the office.

“Commander, you called for me.”

“Yes, have you found anything unusual about Atisha from her background checks?”

“No, Commander. Though I have only just sent a letter to her clan’s Keeper to ask for more information about her past. It will be a few days before I hear back and can confirm that her history is clean.”

“Was there a mage staff among her belongings when she was brought here?” Cullen asked, thoughtfully.

“No, Commander. She carried only two small daggers. Kieran and Dan have confirmed this. Though she has told me that she is a mage, but was forbidden to practise magic by her Keeper.”

“Of course…” Cullen looked back to Atisha. “That would explain the chaos of your attack.”

“My clan had too many mages… I had to hide my abilities from my kin or I would have had to be cast out.”

“Maker…” Cullen sighed. “And they said that the circles were cruel.” He watched Atisha carefully again. “Atisha, have you any idea why the Wolves are after you?”

She swallowed, thinking fast.

“Sammen, my brother, he always said it was unfair that I wasn’t trained. I think he thought that I would have been a strong mage if my powers hadn’t been suppressed. He sees me as a useful ally. But since I refused him, I could see him pursuing me out of pride too.”

“I guess that’s possible…” Cullen said thoughtfully.

“If I may add something, Commander?” Saran asked. Cullen nodded. “Ameridan, one of the men who found Atisha, has requested that he give her some initial mage training. She will need to master the fundamentals before moving on to the Inquisition’s standard training programme, if she is successfully recruited. She would also be better able to defend herself.”

Cullen looked to Atisha again.

“Yes, it would be useful if you could more accurately defend yourself.” He looked to Saran, “Grant Ameridan permission. And make sure Atisha is provided with a suitable staff for her training too.”

Atisha stared at the Commander. She would get to train? To really learn how to use her magic? Fear and excitement rose in her in equal measures.

“Atisha, you are free to go.” The Commander told her. “I would ask that you do not go anywhere alone unless Saran, myself, or Ameridan advises it. The guard outside will escort you to the dining hall.”

“Yes, Commander.” Atisha said quickly. “Thank you so much.” She couldn’t help smiling. He returned the smile and gestured to the door. As she was leaving she heard him speak quietly to Saran again.

“Ameridan is not to let her out of his sight while she is out of her quarters. And once you have a reply from her Keeper, immediately have a copy made and sent discreetly and directly to the Inquisitor.”

_Strange _, Atisha thought. Perhaps she had not been told everything. Perhaps there was still suspicion.__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Tarasyl'an Te'las - Skyhold ("the place where the sky is kept" or, more specifically, "the place where the sky was held back")
> 
> Source: http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_language


	4. Fen'Harel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Atisha has been struggling with her magical training but is feeling at home in Skyhold.  
> However, a strange occurrence during one of her lessons tears her away from the Inquisition and she fears that she will have to sacrifice herself in order to save Skyhold.

“No, trust me on this.” Dan explained as Atisha and Kieran followed him, traipsing down a rocky path and into the valley below Skyhold. They had been training there, out of the way of anything flammable, for the past week. “I’ve studied many cases, particularly among the Orlesian and Fereldan nobility, where a child’s magical ability is hidden and suppressed, it always ends in possession.” Atisha shot him a sharp look, she was growing tired of his theorising and academia.

“Well,” said Kieran, who’d been helping them by building targets and extinguishing out-of-control flames. “Atisha has never been possessed. So, she’s technically doing better than you.” He chuckled.

“I’m in control of my powers.” Atisha defended herself. “I just… don’t know how to channel them right.” She’d been struggling with the training sessions so far. She kept using up too much energy for each activity and exhausting herself quickly.

“No, no, no. It’s far more complicated than that.” Dan said.

“How?” She asked, raising her voice.

“You were raised to hide your abilities, to be afraid of them.”

“I was never afraid of my magic.”

“Not directly, but you were frightened of using magic in case your clan discovered them and abandoned you, correct?”

“I suppose.” Atisha grumbled.

“You see, in many of the cases I have studied, children would become frustrated of being forbidden to act like their nature permitted them too. They were vulnerable to demons because those spirits preyed on their dreams and wishes. You on the other hand…” Dan paused to think. “You clearly know how to deal with spirits - perhaps because of your ability with the Veil. Instead, you have been conditioned to fear using magic and so you cannot fully embrace your powers as something that are a natural part of you. Were either of your parents mages?”

Atisha hesitated at the sudden question.

“I… I don’t know. I never knew them. Keeper Lanaya found me as an infant, lost in the forest.”

Dan’s eyes widened.

“Oh… I see. I’m very sorry. But then that fits in with my theory. You had already been cast out, presumably, and therefore it was a real threat for you. You panic when using magic and use all your energy at once, because deep down you are ashamed of it.”

Atisha knew that what Dan was saying resonated with her. But it still made her angry hearing him say it so matter-of-factly.

“I’ve had enough talking for today.” She said, bitterly. They had reached their usual patch of flat ground. Dan opened his mouth to speak again but Kieran interrupted him.

“I have an idea.” The two mages looked at him. He moved forward a few paces and raised his shield. “Atisha, pretend I’m Dan. Attack me like you know you want to attack him right now. Not enough to kill him, but enough to put him in his bloody place.” The tension suddenly dissipated and she laughed. Although she was getting frustrated with herself, as well as Dan’s chatter, she had grown fond of the pair over the past few days.

“Alright,” she said, taking off her cloak and lifting her staff. The piece of wood still felt thick and awkward in her small hands. Focussing carefully, she drew on a little magic and took aim. Gently she let go and directed the small projectile of fire towards Kieran. He staggered back just a little as the force collided with his shield and disintegrated.

“Excellent!” Kieran shouted. “I will admit I was scared for a moment there. See, Dan, if it’s fear she has a problem with then maybe you need to make magic more fun.” He laughed. The pair looked towards Dan who had stayed very quiet. He smiled faintly as he saw them turn to him.

“Very impressive - really… I… I’m sorry. I feel a bit…” He had gone deathly pale. Atisha dropped her staff and grabbed him just in time as his knees buckled. Kieran hurried to her side.

“He’s not… not being possessed again, is he…?” He asked urgently. Atisha watched Dan’s face contort, a series of emotions crossed his eyes. She had never seen anything like this before. The energy… it felt different.

“I don’t know what this is…” She said in shock.

Suddenly Dan’s face went blank, expressionless. Slowly, mechanically, he stood up again. His eyes did not look like they saw anything.

“Dan?” Kieran asked cautiously. Atisha grabbed his arm and moved him away from the mage. Something was very wrong.

“I don’t think that’s Dan.” She whispered. Kieran fixed her with a look of disbelief. She watched Dan’s expressionless face turn to them.

“What are you?” She asked sternly. “How are you doing this?”

When Dan spoke, it was not his voice.

“For someone of such power, you are so ignorant of how to use it.” The voice said in a monotone. This didn’t seem like a spirit. Its cold, calculating lack of emotion was something else.

“So, you’re here for me.” She said plainly. “Let this mage go.”

“No, you must come to me. The Temple of Mythal in the Arbor Wilds. Open the Veil there. You will find me.”

“Why?” She asked, her voice cracking in fear.

“Because if you don’t, I will kill everyone in Skyhold. Beginning with this weakling friend of yours.”

Atisha’s blood ran cold.

“Who are you?” She asked loudly. But Dan suddenly crumpled to the floor. Kieran rushed to him.

“He’s unconscious… but he’s Dan again… I think.” He said quickly. But Atisha’s mind was elsewhere, carefully turning the message over in her head.

“The Temple of Mythal…” She said quietly. Kieran fixed her with a stern look.

“You’re not going. We need to talk to Commander Cullen, immediately. He has to know what happened here. And we _have _to tell him about your Veil skills. Shit… We should have told him sooner. _I _should have told him sooner.”____

But Atisha still wasn’t listening. What had she just spoken to? Some spirit under the control of Fen’Harel? She didn’t know. But going to Cullen would be useless if this thing had the power to wipe out Skyhold. There was only one thing to do. She looked at Kieran. She tried to suppress the tears but they welled up hot and fast.

“No. Atisha, no.” He pleaded. “You cannot go.”

“I’m sorry,” She said, raising her hands and reaching for the Veil. “But you cannot stop me.” She slipped into the Fade and hastily wove it back together again before Kieran could follow her. Casting her mind forth she found the old but still familiar energy surrounding Mythal’s Temple. She used the faint memory to find the entrance and wove her way out of the Fade once more.

She found herself at the rubbly entrance to the ruins, where she and Sammen had adventured all those years ago. The nightmares had never left her since that night.

The sun was setting behind the trees of the forest. Atisha shivered, it was cold and her cloak was still lying on the ground outside Skyhold. Pushing that thought from her mind she bit back her tears and made her way up the steps.

As she made her way through the temple’s halls and passages she could almost hear her younger self and Sammen talking and scuffling as they had done all those years ago. That night that she had truly learnt to fear Fen’Harel. Her memories were very faint. Even the nightmares had been slowly warped over the years. As she prepared to face the monster of those nightmares she struggled to remembered what he had even looked like. The only thing she remembered clearly was her fear… Her fear afterwards… When Lanaya had shouted at her and taught her to fear him… Had she even been afraid before then?

Suddenly she emerged into the great hall where she and Sammen had played. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about what she was about to do to herself. She couldn’t be responsible for the Inquisition’s destruction. Tears welled up again as she thought of her lessons from the past few days, the fun she had had with Kieran and Dan. How the people of Skyhold didn’t shoot her suspicious glances but welcomed her as one of their own. And for all his academic prattle, she had begun to feel a warmth inside her whenever Dan had laid his hand on her shoulder, helping her to aim her attacks. Stop, she thought. She’d never had such feelings before. But she must cast them aside. He would be the first to die.

Struggling through her exhaustion Atisha raised her arms and began to reach for the threads of the Veil. It didn’t matter if she blacked out again, as long as she managed to open the Veil her first. That was all that mattered right now. She reached to unweave the first thread.

“Mana, da’len.” A calm voice spoke from behind her. A familiar voice in this place, from long ago. She let go of the threads, lowered her arms, and turned. Finally she let her gaze fall upon him again. There stood the elf she had met here all those years ago. And when she looked at him she realised that it was not him she had truly feared, it had been Lanaya who had taught her to fear the memory of him.

“Andaran atish’an, Fen’Harel.” She greeted him.

The tall elf walked towards her, stopping a few paces before reaching her.

“I did not expect to see you here again, even less so in circumstances such as these.” He watched her with a curious half-smile. “I would advise against doing anything rash.”

“So… it was not you who summoned me here?” She asked, cautiously.

“No, Atisha. It certainly was not.”

“And you remember then? That night we met?”

“Of course. The chaos you caused in the Fade was hard to forget. As were the repercussions I have had to deal with.”

“It’s just… For a long time I couldn’t remember. Keeper Lanaya…" Atisha trailed off. "Are you going to take me now?” She asked, perplexed. She did not know how she felt. Everything was different now.

“No da’len, this Dread Wolf shall not steal you away.”

“But… my powers…”

“Are yours. I cannot take them from you. Nor coerce you into using them.” He smiled, and she knew that he was telling the truth. But so much didn’t make sense still.

“And Somael? I killed your agent.”

“He was not mine.”

“Then… Who is it who sent him? Who called me to this place?”

Fen’Harel’s expression darkened.

“Elgar’nan.”

Atisha’s eyes widened. The leader of the Evanuris.

“The All-Father?” She gasped.

“A piece of him.” Fen’Harel said quietly, his voice more serious now.

“How? You imprisoned them all in the Beyond. I’ve heard the stories - you locked them away.”

“And then something very unexpected happened.”

“What was that?”

“You.” He said plainly, still watching her closely.

Atisha stared at him, still more confused.

“An elven child managed to unweave the Veil and slip physically into the Fade.” He explained. “Do you remember the trees, Atisha?”

She cast her mind back, grasping at the clearer memories.

“Yes… Sammen… I tried to warn him… And then I tried to fix it…”

“The spirits were the guardians of the Evanuris’ prison. But then you befriended them and they let their guard down.” He smiled, seemingly amused. “Again, somewhat unexpected.”

Atisha stared into the distance, remembering. She shivered suddenly, it was getting even colder now. Fen’Harel slowly stepped towards her, removing a fur from his shoulders.

“Here da’len. You should have brought a cloak.”

“Ma serannas.” She thanked him and clutched the soft fur tightly around her. “But Elgar’nan said, if it really was him, that he would kill everyone in Skyhold if I didn’t go to him.”

“He is certainly not strong enough for that.” Fen’Harel chuckled. “At least not yet. I am afraid he deceived you.”

“He managed to momentarily possess a mage to give me the message.” She said urgently. “ He’s not a strong mage but… but I don’t want him to get hurt.”

“Then I’m afraid Elgar’nan may be strong enough to take him more permanently. But my agents tell me you assisted a mage in fending off a spirit recently. Perhaps you can train him to strengthen his defences.”

Atisha paused. She could go back to Skyhold. This was not the end. If he was telling the truth.

“You’re really not going to take me against my will, then?" She asked.

Fen’Harel smiled, comfortingly, but with a hint of exasperation.

“I promise, you have my word.”

“How did you find me, then?” Atisha asked, he was a trickster god, after all. He could have made up this whole story with the All-Father.

“I have… agents keeping an eye on Elgar’nan. You also leave tracks through the Fade when you use it. Any Dreamer or spirit can follow them. You should learn to cover them.”

“I don’t know how…” Atisha said sadly, remembering all the failures she had had in learning basic magical tasks with Dan.

“Perhaps your friends can teach you? The ones who taught you to unweave the Veil, if I remember correctly. He looked towards the other end of the hall. Atisha followed his gaze to see an Eluvian. “Come da’len, I will take you back to Skyhold.” He led her towards the mirror.

Atisha became nervous approaching it, memories of burning flesh returned.

“Do not fear, it is quite safe.” Fen’Harel assured her. “I have also spoken to Sammen. He won’t attempt to coerce you through one ever again.”

Atisha clutched the fur tightly around her as she walked through the liquid glass. Her eyes widened in amazement as a beautiful, surreal landscape emerged before them. She felt her exhaustion lifted by the strange energy of the place.

“This,” Fen’Harel explained. “Is the crossroads.”

“It’s… all the colours… It’s beautiful…” Atisha gasped. She gazed around seeing other Eluvians dotted around. “This is how you and your agents travel and avoid the Inquisition, isn’t it?”

“Yes, though the Inquisition is aware of this. We have been recreating new Eluvians and spreading them across Thedas. The ancient Elvhen, my people, used them to travel everywhere. We are bringing back a similar system for our own use. Though some supporters of Elgar’nan, such as Somael, have been stealing through them recently.”

He led her along rocky paths towards another Eluvian. It looked much older than the ones she had used before.

“I must warn you, da’len. At present Elgar’nan is but a silhouette of what his true form once was. He will try and restore his strength. This is why he seeks you. Learn to cover your tracks in the Fade. Be careful of who you trust in the Inquisition. And do not approach those trees in the Fade. He will try and use this weak mage whom you are friends with in order to manipulate you. You must either teach him to defend himself or you must steer clear of him.”

“What will happen if Elgar’nan does restore his original form?”

Fen’Harel’s expression darkened.

“He would tear this world apart and recreate it in such a way as to further his own power-hungry ambitions.”

They came to a stop before the old Eluvian. Atisha narrowed her eyes at Fen’Harel.

“But you want to tear down the Veil. You would sacrifice us all to create your own world. How would he be any different?” She asked pointedly. The older elf’s eyes flashed with a glimpse of anger. He took a breath and sighed.

“There is not time to explain to you how we are different. However, all you must know is that he would coerce you into using your power. I would not.”

“But you would accept my help if I offered? Sammen claimed as much?”

Fen’Harel dropped his gaze, a strained, torn look crossed his face. He looked up towards the Eluvian again.

“The Inquisitor is looking for you. Go to her, da’len. She will protect you once she knows the truth.” He gestured towards the Eluvian and Atisha realised that she would get nothing else from him. She moved towards the molten glass.

“Dareth shi’ral, Fen’Harel.”

“Dareth shi’ral, da’len.”

 

Stepping out of the Eluvian, Atisha’s exhaustion quickly descended upon her once more. She staggered and fell to the floor of a small dark room. A door suddenly opened and torchlight spilled over her. Several guards hurried into the room.

“Wait!” One shouted. “Quickly, fetch Commander Cullen. This is the missing elf. You - get a healer. Hurry!”

Atisha looked up to see the friendly face of Owain, the guard who had escorted her to Cullen’s office before. He held out a hand to her, a concerned look on his face. But as she tried to reach out to him the world descended into darkness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Mana - An imperative verb, like "Stop" or "Wait".
> 
> Andaran atish’an - Enter this place in peace. A formal elven greeting.  
> Da’len - Little child, or "little one".  
> Ma serannas - My thanks (Thank you).
> 
> Source: http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_language


	5. Ir abelas, Hahren

“Come on, Sammen!” Atisha’s nimble little feet easily flitted over the rubble and dust of the temple entrance.

“Atisha…” Sammen groaned, his lanky, adolescent form stumbling over the broken rocks. “These are ruins. No one is here.”

“You’ll see.” Atisha said with the cheeky, knowing smile of a child her age.

“These are the ruins of Mythal’s Temple. Keeper Lanaya will be furious if she finds out that we’re disturbing them.” He said nervously.

“ _I’m _not disturbing them, you're the one kicking stones everywhere.”__

Sammen sighed, exasperated. “So where are these friends of yours?” He asked.

“Here!” Atisha announced excitedly as they entered a large hall. Sammen laughed.

“Lethallan, there is no one here. Your friends must have gone home to bed. It is very late and we should head back to camp. The clan moves on tomorrow.”

“No,” Little Atisha said stubbornly. “My friends are nicer than the clan.”

“Nicer than me?” He feigned hurt.

“No, I like you Lethallin.” She grinned, her excitement showing. “That’s why I’m showing you this.” She began a complicated and intricate pattern of movement with her arms and hands. The Veil began to disintegrate before her.

“Atisha!” Sammen gasped. “Venavis! What are you doing?!”

She smiled and beckoned him before slipping out of view, through the tear. Sammen cursed but he was curious. Taking a deep breath he cautiously walked through the tear.

The surreal world before him was beyond anything he had seen before, beyond anything he could even describe.

“This… is incredible…” He murmured. But Atisha was hurrying ahead. She waved at him, encouraging him to follow.

“These are my friends.” She explained, smiling. He became aware of presences around them, constantly shifting and changing. He quickly realised that in this place you felt people’s auras instead of looking at their physical forms. These must have been spirits. He felt one flitting around his shoulder, inspecting him hungrily.

“No,” Atisha said sternly. “Not him.” And the spirit obeyed her. It moved out of his space and watched curiously from a distance. Sammen was shocked. Here, Atisha navigated and communicated with ease, the opposite of how she was among the clan. Always hiding in the shadows.

Then Sammen noticed a darker, murkier place. He wandered towards it, curious again. Huge, leafless trees appeared out of the mist. Their imposing height softened by their peaceful slumber.

“What are _these _?” He asked, fascinated.__

“Don’t touch them.” Atisha warned him sternly. “You’ll make my friends angry.”

“Why?”

“They’re important. Stay away from them, Lethallin.”

But Sammen moved quickly towards one of the trees, possessed by a hunger that was not entirely his own.

“Sammen! Stop!” Atisha screamed. The spirits urgently rushed towards him, but it was too late. Sammen threw his hands onto the tree’s bark and a strange energy suddenly filled the air. Atisha sprinted towards Sammen and pushed him aside, she was stronger than him in this place. She placed her hands on the tree trunk and closed her eyes. Quietly she chanted to herself, trying to fix whatever damage Sammen had caused.

But a massive noise suddenly permeated the Fade. Atisha grabbed Sammen and pulled him back towards the tear. Before they reached it a strong force pushed them, tumbling out onto the dusty floor of Mythal’s Temple once more. Atisha sobbed and shouted at Sammen. He’d never seen her so emotional before. She was a passive and quiet child.

“I told you not to!” She yelled, sitting where she had fallen on the ground. “I trusted you. I thought you were my friend. Why, Sammen?!”

But Sammen’s face had drained of colour. His eyes looked past her. Atisha became aware of a potent presence behind her. She turned her head to see a tall elf standing by the tear, his eyes filled with fury but also shock. He pointed to the tear.

“This. How did it happen?” He asked coldly.

“Ir abelas, hahren.” Atisha said, composing herself. She quickly got to her feet and hurried to the tear. Raising her hands once more she began to swiftly weave the Veil’s threads back together. Healing the tear. The older elf’s eyes widened in surprise and his brow creased in thought. This is clearly not what he had expected. Sammen began to stumble away from him, moving back towards the entrance.

“You… You’re…” He stammered. “Atisha, run!” He cried suddenly. “It’s Fen’Harel, run, quickly!” Sammen tore off, back towards the camp. But Atisha was not listening to him. She was listening to the Veil, looking for loose threads, weaving them carefully back together. She lost track of time and when she finally turned to meet the elf’s gaze he was no longer fuming, but calm and thoughtful.

“That is a fascinating skill you have.” He said, watching her curiously. “Where did you learn such magic?”

“It’s… It’s not magic…” She stammered, panicking. Lanaya had warned her about revealing her powers. She didn’t want to be disowned by the clan. It was probably why she had been abandoned when she was a baby. “I don’t have magic.”

He looked at her, incredulously. Atisha paused, if he truly was Fen’Harel then he was a god. Maybe he wouldn’t tell her clan.

“I mean… Keeper Lanaya says I mustn’t show anyone. The clan has too many mages and I don’t want to be sent away again…” She blurted out quickly.

“Did your Keeper teach you this particular skill?” He asked, still watching her closely.

“No…” She hesitated. “My friends told me how to do it.”

“Which friends?”

“My friends in the Fade. The spirits. One night I was… sad. So I came here to sleep. They told me in my dreams. And… I could do it. Sammen can’t… but he’s a mage… Are you really Fen’Harel?”

“I am. And what is your name, da’len?”

Atisha smiled broadly. Only Lanaya called her that.

“Atisha. I can shapeshift too. Sometimes I turn into a wolf and scare the mean children in the clan. They think that I’m you and are scared that I’ll eat them.” She smiled and giggled.

“I did not know that the Dalish told that story. Are you frightened that I might eat you?” He raised his eyebrows.

“No. I bet I’m faster than you. You wouldn’t catch me.” She slipped into wolf form and stood poised and ready to run. Fen’Harel laughed.

“Perhaps we shall race another day. You underestimate me.” He looked at her, considering her. “And how did you learn that skill, Atisha?” She slipped back into her elven form.

“I got lost when I was very little. Lanaya told me that I was rescued by a she-wolf so I must have learned from her.”

“See, wolves don’t always eat little elves. They can be protectors too.” He created a small fire in the palm of his hand. “Come into the light, da’len.” She stepped forward and looked up at his face, now well-lit and visible.

“Your eyes are dark blue.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Yes, they were last time I cared to look.”

“But wolves don’t have blue eyes.” She explained.

“True, but your eyes are blue-green, like the Waking Sea.”

“I’ve never seen the sea.”

“Well, wolves don’t have eyes that colour either.”

Atisha shook her head. He had a point. A strange expression crossed his eyes.

“So, perhaps neither of us is entirely what we seem to be, Atisha.” A shadow of sorrow fell across his face. “Tell me, da’len. That is not really your clan out there, is it?”

“No.” Atisha cast her gaze towards the floor. Lanaya didn’t like her talking about that.

“Where is your clan? Have you a family?”

“I don’t know.”

Suddenly a cry echoed through the corridors of the temple. Keeper Lanaya’s voice shouted her name, desperately. Atisha quickly looked towards the entrance.

“That is your Keeper.” Fen’Harel said quietly.

“Yes.” She whispered. “She will be angry with me again.”

“I will speak with her.”

Lanaya appeared from the entrance and looked towards Atisha.

“Atisha!” She gasped. “ Are you safe, da’len?”

“Yes, Keeper.” She replied guiltily.

Lanaya’s eyes flitted to Fen’Harel. Her expression moved from relief to anger.

“Get away from her, Trickster. You will not take her.”

“I had no intention of doing so.” He said calmly.

“Atisha, come here.” The Keeper beckoned. The child looked up at Fen’Harel. He nodded and she walked towards Lanaya.

“I suppose you realise that you are neglecting this young mage’s training.” Fen’Harel said sternly.

“You are not welcome here, Dread Wolf.” Lanaya shot at him clutching Atisha tightly.

“Clearly.” He sighed. “I shall leave your clan in peace on the condition that you give Atisha the training that she is entitled to.”

Lanaya gently patted Atisha on the back. “Return to camp. Leave this to me.”

“But Keeper -“

“Now.” Lanaya said sternly.

Atisha looked from her to Fen’Harel before scurrying away. But she couldn’t leave. She hid behind the hall’s entrance and peeked around the wall to listen further.

“She is not your concern.” Lanaya said forcefully.

“She is much more powerful than you realise.” Fen’Harel’s tone had become more exasperated now. “Or perhaps you do realise but you are frightened of that power. In which case you are being utterly foolish. It is unwise to leave such power untapped. She would be hugely dangerous if possessed.”

“She would be far more dangerous if she were capable and under your destructive influence.”

At Lanaya’s words Fen’Harel’s expression darkened with fury.

“Have you any idea what you have in her? What she is?” He shouted now, no longer calm and contemplative. “You are interfering in matters beyond your comprehension. It is typical of the Dalish to take something incredible and crush it into a tiny box because it denies what you believe about the world!”

Horrified, Atisha fled the temple and hurried back to the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:
> 
> Lethallan/Lethallin - Casual reference used for someone with whom one is familiar.  
> Venavis - Stop.  
> Ir abelas - I'm sorry.  
> Hahren - Elder. Used as a term of respect by the Dalish.  
> Da’len - Child, little one.
> 
> Source: http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_language


	6. Olwyn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I have been away from this for far too long. Life sort of happened (in all its chaos) but I'm finally back.
> 
> Big reveal. (Probably quite obvious) Many emotions. All the feels.
> 
> #StillNoGoodAtSummaries

Atisha’s eyes flickered open. She was no longer on the dark floor by the Eluvian but lying on a soft mattress in a bedroom lit by bright sunlight pouring through a large window. Owain had called for a healer… But this was not the healing ward. This looked like a private room and was more finely decorated than her own. She sat up, her body still aching slightly in the aftermath of her exhaustion. She really needed to stop passing out in front of people. Pushing herself up to sitting Atisha suddenly froze. A chair had been placed close beside her bed. In it sat the Inquisitor. She was sleeping, her head tilted to one side, and the fur that Fen’Harel had given Atisha was sitting on her lap.

Atisha stared at her in shock. Why was the Inquisitor of all people watching over her? Suddenly she heard footsteps approaching the door of the room. Panicking, she lay down again and feigned sleep. She heard the door quietly open.

“Inquisitor?” Commander Cullen’s voice asked softly.

“Mm… yes, Cullen?” The inquisitor sleepily answered.

“Her fever has passed. You should really get some proper rest yourself.”

“I… No, I’m fine.”

“Please Inquisitor. Ameridan has offered to watch over her.”

There was a pause.

“Alright… But only for a short while. And I wish to be the first to know if she wakes.”

“Of course. Come Inquisitor, you must at least eat something.”

The door closed again and their footsteps faded away. Atisha could hear Dan quietly take his place in the chair. She opened her eyes and quickly indicated to him to stay quiet. He looked surprised, but also relieved and nodded in agreement.

“Is she gone?” Atisha asked urgently.

“Yes.” Dan replied, but his tone quickly grew serious. “Atisha, you shouldn’t have -“

“Why was *she* watching over me?” She interrupted.

“You…” Dan suddenly looked nervous. “I overheard them talking… She… She’s taken a personal interest in you.” He looked towards the door. “Look I think I should tell her that you’re awake. You can ask her yourself.”

“No, wait…” Atisha pleaded. “Dan, do you remember what happened to you?”

“Not really. I remember it felt like some sort of shadow crept over me… I don’t know. Just after I woke up they said you’d just stumbled out of an Eluvian. Kieran explained what you both saw. And how you… Atisha, why did you go to him? What happened?”

“The message you gave us was clear. I thought he would kill everyone here… starting… well, starting with you…” Atisha dropped her gaze and bit her lip. She worried she had said more than what she had meant to with those words. She felt him lay a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t ever give yourself up like that again, not for me, not for all of Skyhold.”

Atisha looked up at him again. She couldn’t quite read his expression.

“It wasn’t Fen’Harel.” She said quietly, realising that she had not explained her story yet.

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, looking confused.

“It was Elgar’nan, not Fen’Harel. He’s the one who possessed you. He’s the one who’s been chasing me.”

“Elgar’nan?” Dan asked with a look of disbelief. “The ancient elven god? Atisha…”

“Fen’Harel walks among us. How is it so difficult to believe?”

“It’s just… a lot to take in. Look, I should really fetch the Inquisitor. She will need to talk to you first.” Dan stood and walked towards the door. He hesitated as he opened it and turned back to look at her. “Atisha, I…” He sighed and smiled. “I’m glad you’re back.” And with that he hurried out and closed the door.

“And I’m glad you’re still alive…” She said quietly to herself.

Fen’Harel’s words of warning came back to her.

*”He will try and use this weak mage whom you are friends with in order to manipulate you. You must either teach him to defend himself or you must steer clear of him.”*

That would be her first priority once she had warned the Inquisitor about Elgar’nan. 

Atisha climbed out of the oversized bed and found some simple clothes left out for her. She changed quickly and opened the door. A flight of stairs appeared, descending before her. She hurried down them and found another door, slightly ajar. Beside it stood Dan and Cullen, talking quietly. Cullen spotted her.

“Ah Atisha, I’m glad to see that you have recovered.” He smiled. She noticed that his eyes flicked around her face, as if he were only looking at her for the first time. “The Inquisitor has requested your presence.” Cullen popped his head around the door and spoke. “Inquisitor, Atisha is awake and is just outside. Shall I send her in?”

Atisha did not catch her reply but Cullen opened the door wider and gestured for her to enter. Dan gave her a small, nervous smile as she went through. The door shut behind her. She found herself in a beautiful lofty room filled with bookshelves and furniture. Arches led out onto a balcony where Atisha could see the Inquisitor standing, looking out at the landscape. The fur rested under her hand on the balcony railing. At the sound of Atisha’s footsteps she turned to look at her. She smiled a warm, welcoming smile. But that strange expression form their first encounter still shadowed her eyes.

“Come here, da’len. There is a wonderful view from up here. And it is a beautiful day.”

Atisha hesitated. Why did the Inquisitor have such an air of levity? Dan had been quick to ask what had happened to her. Had he not mentioned their conversation to her? She approached the balcony nonetheless.

“Inquisitor, it wasn’t Fen’Harel who possessed Dan and sent that message - it was Elgar’nan. It’s true. He -“ Atisha said quickly, but the Inquisitor raised her hand.

“Calm down, Atisha.” She laughed quietly. “I know it was not Fen’Harel who stole you away. And I had heard rumours that had led me to believe it could have been Elgar’nan.”

“You - oh…” Atisha looked at her, shocked. “I’m sorry I left… He made threats… I was scared.”

“You needn’t apologise. Kieran has explained everything to us. We know what you can do with the Veil… But… But this is not what I needed to speak to you about.” The Inquisitor paused, her expression thoughtful. Like Cullen, her eyes scanned Atisha’s face, taking her in. “Join me, Atisha.”

Atisha walked out onto the balcony. She was right, the view was incredible. The Inquisitor sighed, gazing out into the distance.

“Your Keeper has written to us, as part of our background checks. She mentioned something interesting.”

“Oh…” Atisha said nervously. “Is something wrong…?”

“No, not wrong.” The Inquisitor pulled a slightly strained smile. “She mentioned that she found you as an infant, in fact a she-wolf brought you to her clan.”

“I always thought she had made that bit up…” Atisha said with a small laugh. “She said she thought I was a gift from the gods, brought to her as a test of her faith. It is more likely that I was abandoned by another clan. I must have shown magical ability very early… And my original clan did not have room for me.”

“Unfortunately that would have been a much more likely story. The Dalish… Well, we both know that they have their traditions. But she found you in the Brecilian Forest, did she not?”

“Yes, we pass through there every year.”

“And you’re very sure it was the Brecilian Forest?”

“Yes… Every year when we visited I’d go off into the forest and… well, try and find my own clan…”

The Inquisitor looked sympathetic but her tone became more urgent.

“And you were found in 9:47, you’re certain it was that year?”

Atisha stared at the Inquisitor, she had expected to be questioned about many things… but not this.

“Yes, I would have been about two years old at the time. I’m eighteen now…. Why are you asking me about this, Inquisitor?”

The Inquisitor looked back out at the landscape below them.

“There was another clan in the Brecilian Forest that year. Clan Taelassan. They were discreet and kept to the old ways, rarely interacting with outsiders… They were massacred.”

“I’ve never heard about that…” Atisha said in shock.

“No…” The Inquisitor sighed sadly. “No one knew about it. The Inquisition made sure of it. All leads pointed towards a racially motivated attack by humans, angered by Fen’Harel’s plans. It was a diplomatic nightmare. Tensions were high enough as it was. The Inquisition, I’m afraid to say, covered it up. We tried to keep everyone calm in order to keep the peace.”

“And you’re saying that this could have been my original clan…?” Atisha said quietly, anger simmered within her. 

“Not quite…” The Inquisitor said, sorrow shadowing her face.

“How could you have let that happen to them?” 

“It was not my decision. I… I became very ill shortly after the attack and the decisions were made by others in my stead. That said, I still blame myself. I should have been stronger but… so much death. Just when I thought things were finally improving.”

“I must have survived…” Atisha said, in almost a whisper. “Somehow… But… If you covered this up, why are you telling me about it now?” Atisha looked to the Inquisitor, her strange expression from earlier had vanished. Instead, her eyes were glistening slightly.

“I visited Clan Taelassan…” She said, her voice trembling ever so slightly with emotion. “I… I left something with them… Two years before they were killed. And I thought I had lost it forever.”

Atisha stared at the Inquisitor as realisation dawned on her. Was she really saying what she thought she was saying.

“But then…” The Inquisitor smiled and continued. “I saw your eyes… And I just knew - I gave you those eyes. Blue-green, like the Waking Sea.” She lifted her hand and brushed a few strands of hair from Atisha’s face. 

Atisha could feel tears welling up in her own eyes now. Too many emotions swam through her mind. She opened her mouth but the only thing she could say was the word she had never been able to use.

“Mamae…?” She whispered in disbelief.

The Inquisitor smiled and embraced her.

“Ma’len…” She said softly, comfortingly. She pulled away and gazed into Atisha’s eyes once more. “I thought I’d lost you. I thought you were dead. All these years… I was there, after the massacre. I searched through the corpses. They were mutilated beyond recognition, even the little children. My heart wanted to tell me that you weren’t among them. But you could have been any of them. And I didn’t know which one.” Then she laughed through her tears. “But you are here. Look at you! My beautiful daughter. And by the looks of things you’re taking after me with all this chaos around you.”

They both laughed.

“Come,” The Inquisitor said bringing her to a table inside her room. “Sit with me, Elgar’nan can wait. We have eighteen years to catch up on.” They sat down and the Inquisitor poured some tea and handed it to Atisha. “Do you like elfroot tea?” The Inquisitor asked as Atisha took a sip. “Or what type of tea do you like? Or do you even like tea at all?” She laughed and sighed. “I am sorry, I’m just nattering… I just…”

“I love elfroot tea.” Atisha smiled. “And you brew it perfectly. Keeper Lanaya always made it so weak. I actually like the -“

“Bitterness.” The Inquisitor beamed in agreement.

“Yes!” 

The Inquisitor suddenly became more sober. “Here I am rejoicing for having found you. But I have not yet explained why I had to give you away… You will, no doubt, have many questions.”

“You’re the Inquisitor,” Atisha said thoughtfully. “You have dangerous enemies - I would have been an easy target.”

“They could have hurt you in order to manipulate me. When I held you for the first time… I realised I would have torn the world asunder in order to protect you. And that was dangerous. My emotions have interfered with my decisions before. The strength of my emotions for you, naturally… I couldn’t trust myself. Ever since I was marked at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, my life has not been my own. I didn’t want that for you. I tried to give you a normal, Dalish life, like I had had, initially. I had no idea that the residual energy from the anchor would be passed on to you. But it would explain your unique abilities.”

“Even if Clan Taelassan had lived, I think this power would have found a way of making my life difficult.” Atisha sighed.

“And here you are, like me, marked by a power that many will seek for themselves… Ir abelas, da’len… I… This is not what I wanted for you.”

“Do you always blame yourself for everything?” Atisha gave a kind-hearted laugh.

“When you have carried the fate of the world on your shoulders for so many years… It is difficult not to.” She smiled. Atisha gazed at her, finally seeing their similarities, their pale skin, their eyes, their smiles, the only big difference was the Inquisitor’s rusty hair colouring. She had dreamt for years as a child of finding her parents, finding a home and being cherished. In more recent years she had given up, realising that dreams did not come true. But here she was.

“I…” Atisha stammered. “I am so glad that you found me… That I can finally meet you.”

“As am I, Atisha. My darling Atisha. Did your Keeper give you that name?”

“Yes, she believed that as a gift from the gods I would bring peace to the elves in troubled times. But… I only brought trouble.”

“Oh? How so?”

“The Clan were always suspicious of me. Lanaya thought of me as a gift. The others saw me as a demon. Then… When I was eight… Well, Lanaya told me that I had put the entire clan in danger.”

“An impressive feat for a child.” The Inquisitor laughed.

“I realised last night that Lanaya had been wrong… You see, I had just discovered that I could untangle the Veil. I drew the attention of Fen’Harel. Afterwards, Lanaya taught me to fear him. But I remember now, he had no intention of harming us. He was angry, but not violent.”

“You… you met him as early as that?” The Inquisitor looked towards the fur, still hanging on the balcony railing.

“Yes. I think he was surprised by my ability. When Lanaya came to rescue me he berated her for not having trained me as a mage.”

“I wonder…” The Inquisitor said wistfully. “Did he recognise you, beyond being Dalish?”

“He… I don’t know. He lit a fire, asked me to step into the light… He… said…” Atisha looked in shock at the Inquisitor. She had heard a rumour once, the Inquisitor and her ally who had loved and betrayed her. But it couldn’t be…

“What did he say, da’len?”

“He said my eyes were blue-green, like the Waking Sea.” She stared at the Inquisitor, her eyes, Atisha’s eyes.

“Ah yes,” The Inquisitor sighed. “Oh Solas… Why didn’t he tell me…? But of course, I never told him.”

“So, you’re saying…”

“Yes, I am your mother. Solas, though you seem to know him as Fen’Harel, is your father.” Atisha looked in shock from the Inquisitor to the fur hanging on the balcony.

“He saved me… Last night, at Mythal’s Temple. He stopped me from going to Elgar’nan. He even gave me that fur… I had forgotten my cloak. I didn’t understand. It all makes sense now.”

“What did he say to you?”

“I thought he would take me because of my power. But he promised not to. He warned me that Elgar’nan would pursue me. He told me that I needed to learn how to cover my tracks in the Fade. And then he led me back to Skyhold.”

“I am grateful - if you had gone to Elgar’nan… I shudder to think.” The Inquisitor sighed. “ I wish I could thank him.

“You’re not in contact…?”

“No, we have not spoken since… Well,” She looked down at her stump. “Shortly after the healers removed the anchor, and my arm with it. He hadn’t expected me to survive - so we met one last time. No more false pretences. And then we took our opposite sides in this war.” She smiled and laughed.”Probably for the best. I was quite smug after the Inquisition’s victory in Tevinter. I would have been insufferable. Not that he didn’t deserve that.” She sighed. “Well, what’s passed has passed. Now we have more pressing concerns. I still have enemies, you could still be a target. And now we must protect you from Elgar’nan too. We must keep your powers and identity as secret as possible. Ameridan is still at risk from the All Father and you are still in need of further mage-training. I trust him, so you may reveal the truth to him, and you can both teach each other a lot. I must call a meeting now.” The Inquisitor stood. Atisha quickly rose, following her lead. 

“Wait…” Atisha said quickly before the Inquisitor could move towards the door. “Inquisitor… I -“

“Please,” The Inquisitor smiled. “My name is Olwyn. It would be conspicuous for you to call me mother but… I’d rather not be ‘Inquisitor’ to you, ma’len.” 

Atisha hesitated, she was uncertain of whether she truly wanted an answer to her question.

“Olwyn… Did you name me? Before…”

Olwyn visibly suppressed a string of emotions and moved to Atisha, placing her hand gently on the young elf’s shoulder.

“Atisha suits you. I hadn’t much time with you before… I had to…”

“But did you?” Atisha persisted.

“I did…” Olwyn dropped her gaze. “To me, you were always Fen’wyn…” She smiled, somewhat awkwardly. “As I said, I really hadn’t much time with you…”

“No,” Atisha smiled at her. “I like it ‘Fen’wyn’. The name I never knew. Thank you… For telling me.”

Olwyn clasped her hand to Atisha’s cheek.

“I am frightened to let you out of my sight again.” 

“I promise to be more cautious now.” Atisha said sincerely. “I’ve never had anyone who’d miss me before now.”

“You always did.” Olwyn said, gazing at her. “You just didn’t know.” She kissed her forehead gently and then moved towards the door, vanishing downstairs.


	7. Vhenan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olwyn decides that it is finally time to talk to Solas again.
> 
> #AllTheFeels

Olwyn paused at the door to her quarters. The light outside was fading and she could hear Atisha and Dan heatedly debating some aspect of magic upstairs. She smiled as she pushed open the door and made her way towards the balcony. The lack of sleep and long day had taken its toll on her already-feeble body. But it had been years since she had felt this alive in her mind and soul. Her little child had lived. Against all the odds she had survived. And now… As much as she regretted the burden it would put upon the young elf, Atisha would inevitably play a decisive role in the chaos that would soon erupt across Thedas, across the entire world.

Olwyn walked out into the cool dusk air of the balcony and her eyes fell upon what she had come to retrieve. There lay the fur. She remembered Atisha’s words - “He stopped me from going to Elgar’nan. He even gave me that fur…” And then he had sent her back to Skyhold. *Interesting*, she thought. Olwyn had never had the chance to consider how Solas might react to the child. She had thought her dead and had no idea that she would inherit an ability to manipulate the Veil. Surely he would have been tempted to use that power for himself? 

Olwyn gazed out towards the sunset. She knew what to do. Though it would not be easy. She took a deep breath and picked up the fur before heading back downstairs.

The Skyhold garden looked eerily still. Only a few people sat around talking quietly or silently contemplating. Olwyn moved quickly across the square and approached a door she had not let herself look upon for many years. Two guards stood either side of the frame and watched her approach. She took out a key and nodded to them. Silently they nodded back and let her pass. She was ashamed to see that her hands trembled slightly as she turned the lock and entered the dark and musty room.

And there it stood. Morrigan’s Eluvian. Olwyn sighed. As she began to push the door shut behind her a voice called out.

“Inquisitor Lavellan?” She heard hurried footsteps and Cullen pushed through into the room.

“Commander Cullen.” She replied quietly. She already had her doubts, she didn’t need any more.

“I… Are you…? Cullen stammered and then quickly closed the door. He gave her a meaningful look. “Must you do this? You’re putting yourself in a very dangerous position. I say that both as an advisor and… a friend.”

“Yes, I must do this.” Olwyn sighed. “And no, I am in no danger.” She assured him.

“Would you at least consider taking a guard with you?” Cullen urged her. “Or even just me? I’ll stand at a distance, I assure you.”

“Cullen…”

“Alright, yes…” Cullen sighed. “I would probably try punching the smug look off his face. And we both know that that would only end badly for me.”

Olwyn let out a chuckle. Seeing her smile, Cullen relaxed a little.

“Cullen, you know the agreement. I must go alone. And besides, I would prefer if you stayed. I lost Fen’wyn once before, I’m not sure I could survive losing Atisha now.”

“Of course, Inquisitor.” Cullen looked sadly at her. “I apologise. I will watch over her.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m very glad that she lives.” Cullen smiled. “And she is a delight - in a chaotic way, not unlike you were when you first joined us. You deserve some happiness after all you have done for this world.”

“It does make a nice change…” Olwyn smiled.

“Just…” Cullen hesitated. “Make sure he knows what he’s missing, now that he’s an all destructive god.”

“I promise, I will.” Olwyn laughed gently.

Cullen watched her carefully for a moment before nodding and slipping back through the door once more. Olwyn turned towards the Eluvian. She lifted her hand towards the dull glass and concentrated. That once-familiar blue light began to ripple from it and she took a deep breath before stepping through the portal.

The golden light of the Crossroads erupted before her and suddenly she felt whole again. Her exhaustion lifted as she stepped down the rocky path and over streams, drinking in her surroundings. He would know by now and would be there soon.

And suddenly she knew. He was there.

Olwyn turned and saw him standing a short distance away, blue light fading from another Eluvian behind him. For a moment they just stood there, watching each other, silent, still.

“I believe this is yours?” She said softly, lifting the fur.

“I am frightened to approach you. As if you might vanish before I reach you.” Solas said quietly, uncertainty crossing his face. It was not an emotion she recalled him showing very often. 

“I understand.” Olwyn said with a small smile. “Though this is no dream.”

She took a step towards him, he followed her lead and they quickly embraced. He took her face in his hands.

“You are here.” He smiled

“I am.” She let out a small sigh. “I owe you an explanation.”

“Atisha… You found her.”

“Yes, though she tells me you found her first.”

“A child tearing holes in the Veil and attempting to release the old elven gods?” He chuckled. “She would have been difficult to ignore.”

“Next time she goes chasing ancient elven gods I’ll make sure she wears a cloak.” She smiled but hesitated. “I am sorry that I didn’t tell you, Solas…”

“So… She is mine? Ours?”

“Yes.”

“I had wondered, since meeting her all those years ago. But I couldn’t be sure… Do not apologise for hiding her. The less who knew, the safer she would be.”

“I did want to tell you. But then.. when the clan I left her with were killed… I - well… I thought she was dead. It was difficult to think clearly for a very long time.”

“I did not realise you believed her dead.” Solas looked at her in shock. “I would have contacted you when I stumbled across her that first time. But then… I couldn’t quite believe it. I will admit, I did not think it possible. I am sorry I left you alone with that burden, Vhenan.” 

“She is safe now. Thank you - for protecting her from Elgar’nan.”

Solas’ expression quickly grew more serious.

“You must ensure she learns to master her power. That foolish Keeper has stifled her magic. She needs to be able to protect herself from him.”

“I was hoping you might help with that.” Olwyn smiled knowingly.

“Me?” He looked confused.

“She has a power no mortal, perhaps no immortal, wields. Who else could teach her?”

“She has a power that I do not have.”

“I know, otherwise I would be dead.”

Solas flinched and looked away.

“But you,” Olwyn urged him. “You understand it better than anyone, even her.”

“And what if I influence her?” He narrowed his eyes in challenge. “What if she starts believing in my cause? You would not risk that. I know where you stand.”

“And if she joins me? She would be the only one capable of binding you in the Fade along with the others. There is equal risk for us both.”

“And if we leave her as she is… we risk her being taken by Elgar’nan’s forces. That would end badly for the both of us.”

“Precisely.” Olwyn sighed.

Solas paused, contemplating.

“This complicates everything.” He eventually whispered.

“On the contrary,” Olwyn persisted. “ We have been stuck in a deadlock for years. Atisha is the one who will end this, no matter who wins.”

“Ah Vhenan,” Solas laughed softly. “I miss your clarity of thought.”

“You’ll do it then?”

“Yes, I suppose I must.”

“Ma serannas, Vhenan.”

“Ar lath ma…” Solas said quietly, gazing at her eyes.

Olwyn smiled up at him.

“Even after my spectacular victory in Tevinter?” She asked slyly.

Solas laughed.

“I see that *this* is the true reason you wanted to see me in person.”

“Oh no,” She said with a smile and lifted the fur to his shoulder. “I was mostly worried that you’d catch your death in the cold without this. It would really take from my ultimate victory if it was a fever who defeated you, and not me.”

Solas brushed his hand against her cheek and kissed her gently.

“Ar lath ma…” She said quietly. He smiled back at her, relieved that she had returned the words. But she grew serious once more. “Before I go… You haven’t by any chance stolen my Arcanist?”

“Dagna? No, I don’t believe we would have any use for her, talented as she is.”

“Ah…” Olwyn looked troubled. “She was working on some schematics… And now she is missing.”

“What kind of schematics?”

Olwyn dropped her gaze for a moment before giving him a frightened look.

“Schematics that would be incredibly dangerous if they reached Elgar’nan.”

Solas took a deep breath.

“Then I must begin training Atisha as soon as possible.”


End file.
